Vocabulary

My not anymore “No Verbal” Son is speaking. We still have a looong way to go for him to have a conversation bue HEY! He is 2.3 years old! Wasn’t expecting a conversation from
Him yet. Although some peers do it already, I have to say.

He is saying names. And pretty clearly. He says his name and recognize people is speaking to him, this sounds dumb to some but for us IS HUGE!.

He is fighting with his sister, – how come a mom could be excited about this?, well I Am- because fighting with her means several things. He is standing for himself, he is trying to get her attention so she handles him a toy or mine so I stop her to take it from
Him and as I do not go Imediately the. He fights his way. He is USING words like “mine” “me turn” ” great lion grrr mine” – as if he was doing scary noises to her- “go go go mooomiiiiii” and “no no no – sister’s name here-”

He is complementing all te phrases of his favorite book with the correct pronunciation of the words, often, run, fun, sun, moonlight, minutes, new, you.

He is adopting my husband Spanish expressions : “esooo”.

He says good morning and good night, let’s go, sleep, hungry, mad, agua, food, backpack , cool (for school), hello, hola, bye

He counts 1 to 10 when he is about to melt down and calms himself and then counts to 20.

He recognize most of the vocabulary letters and most of the numbers 1 to 20 (16 and 18 have him confused). He says clearly every letter and number.

My little guy says right now more
Words of the ones his big sister used when she was 2.3. She had a smaller vocabulary but assembled sentences whit the few she had. She is a chatterbox now. So, what the future says? No idea.

But all this therapies, school and Mommy, sister an daddy work seems to be having results and we are so happy 🙂

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Giant Steps

We are having giant, humongous, steps. And I’m so afraid we find a stop to this pattern.

HE has been sayng so many words, even dancing and waving following the words of a song. Then singing the song with ITS WORDS not just the music.  He is interacting so much with his siter, with me, with my husband. He even tried to interact with my daughter classmates and one or 2 have the patience to play with him, a lot to ask a 4yo!.

He is reaching the milestones of his peers, like reaching the terrible’s 2 stage. that I’m not crazy about but I’m exited to see HE IS FEELING and behaving as a common 2 yo. :).

He still have a long way to go. Still doesn’t engage in a conversation and fin it difficult to go forth and back with words with somebody. But hey! the kid JUST learned to speak!. He speaks! that is HUGE!. He still have a lot of motor issues.

He might walk and is trying to run now, almost there, he is trying to jump and loves to bounce. But as for the more detailed motor moves we are at lost. 😦 Fine motor is not his top. It is probing to be so difficult for him. So now we are including more specifics about that one. I don’t expect him to write, he is 2, my 4yo still finds difficult to do so, and might have to be with the fact she can use both hands to do so and haven’t practice more with one or the other. But I won’t, and also asked the teacher not to, push her to be a righty or lefty. I’ll let her decide, she will eventually, and if not she will just haveto write with both hands whenever she feels like.

As for my little one. Far is the day when he will write. But now, right now. HE CAN SPEAK. 🙂 He said I Love You 3 days ago at night when I said good night and he has been saying those words every night since then to me adding a kiss.

He says hug, I did it, NO, YES, Bannana, Apple Pie, apple, strawberries, ball, go, ready, set, steady, counts one to 20 in English and one to 10 in Spanish, says water and agua, food, hungry, tired, papa, book, pig, tiger, lion, monkey, elephant, dora, boots, tico, isa, benny, swiper. he says “oh man!” he sings the wiggles your waggles away, he sings the whole ABC song, he says all done, no more. He says Bye, and Hi, and adios and Hola, He tries to say Hi and Bye to every single person that comes in or out of the elevator. He says Hi to everyone when he comes in the building of his school and then to every single teacher in his classroom, that is a one on one  teacher student so there are 5 teachers 5 kids, He says Hi 5 times. He says Bye to every one and started waving his hand when he waits for me at the door. While I get his backpack. That he should be getting but sometimes I forget to make him pick it up and I just do so.  He says, sadly, TELE ( TV) , and peppa pig please, he says : ” OPEN POPAVOD” ( open please – por favor- mixing English and Spanish). he says rice , he says beans. He says cereal no matter he has never ever touched it, he knows the word because his sister loves to eat cereal for breakfast.

He says so many words.  And I won’t ever forget the people that has helped us to reach this stage and keeps working for and with us.

One of them just died. He never knew the importance of his creations on my life. He might imagine, he never knew for certain. Steve Jobs. His iPod was the tool for my daughter to make contact with her little borther. His iPod was the tool for my son to avoid a meltdown at the grocery store for so long until he find, with it, how to filter, sounds and colors, lights and a lot of sensory signals until finally he starting looking around. And leave the iPod at one side. His iPod changed our world, let us learn differently. His gadgets ideas changed our lives. ANd I’m thankful for them, And now he will change more lives with the SIRI idea. with the iPhone 4S.

I do know his ipod is not the magical tool, but it is one of the tools that helped us and keeps helping. Now  my son uses so many ABA flashcards, so MANY. HE is leaning more and more vocabulary, he repeats, they catch his attention, he chooses which ones he wants to learn, he moves the gadget with his tiny fingers, His is even improving a little his fine motor skills with it.

So thanks Steve Jobs, thanks to the 6 therapists that work with us, thanks to the school principal and angel that started that program for kids with different issues and observes them so much she KNOWS aht they need and how to focus in each one, Thanks to the teacher that does one on one with my son during those lessons. And thanks to my daughter and her patience and how smart she is that ALWAYS knows HOW to make Her little brother to say something she thinks is important for him to learn. She just Taught him how to say HIS NAME, 2 days  ago. Not even the therapist couldn’t achieve that. My daughter did. And I was amaze. She used the most easiest way.

We hang a “halloween curtain” in the middle of the house, it has hangings like cheerleader puffs. She grabbed a corner and started cheering his name. HE started imitating the action and was just moving the curtain around like her, then making the syllables sounds and then, just from the noting, the following day, he grabbed the curtain and started cheering his Name. Like if it was something he used to do since forever.

So yes, I haven’t write for a while. Our life has been a little crazy between 14 hours therapies and preK , bot kids, same hours different schools. ( I need to clone myself). But it has been AWESOME , because it is working. :).

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And the word of the day is…..

DELICIOUS.

 

My 27 mo old, almost non verbal kid that has only used 3 or 4 words and of course 20 numbers ( because he is all about music and numbers) said : ” delicious” today. Just because he wanted.

I was in the kitchen cleaning and my husband was helping him to feed himself, we are teaching him to use the spoon and fork  and not just his hands,  and after one try of his meal he looked at my husband and said ” Delicious…. oink”  I was amazed. I know where he took the word from, we haven’t teach it to him, nor his therapists nor his school – that just recently started  and has only been there 2 days so far- no, it was from “Peppa Pig” a BBC- Nick Jr kids cartoon. and I knew because of the “oink” at the end of the word.

But he used it correctly. With out been prompted. And the TV was off so he wasn’t imitating in that moment, he was remembering and decided to use the word after he tried his meal, tasted it, said mmmm and then added the “delicious…. oink”

I’m so happy, is a long word for him! and it was so clear I understood him from the kitchen and my daughter said: ” WOOO great job – insert name- and you are right it is …” and he followed ” delicious”

She was so happy of making hm say it again and he was so happy we understood him and he answer his big sister. ( that is only 4 yo).

I’m so happy all the stress I was carring for this 1st week of new school routines just dissapeared…

 

🙂

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Dear Friend – again

Dear Friend, please don’t take it personal. Although it might be. My Ugly face, or sarcasm face wasn’t against you it was just to much you know.

I love your kid a lot. Not as much as I love my kids but I do love him. You know I know him since he was born and had watched his road with you are his side. That is why I know he is younger than my son. Months younger, several months younger.

So if I comment to you that my son’s preK has the goal to teach him to drink from an open cup do not reply as you did, please!. Do not say : ” Oh they must be crazy, my little one is just trying it, of Course yours still can’t!”

I know your kid is amazingly smart. I also know my kid has autism and is a little behind his peers but OF COURSE HE CAN!. It is just that I haven’t even tried as my whole apartment is carpet and My daughter is a energy bomb that will make him not to concentrate. I was in fact waiting for school to start so in the days he is alone with me we will have the silence and calm he needs to manage those type of task. But your “of course he can’t answer” wasn’t nice at all.

And that is just one of the reasons every time you say we should have a girls lunch out , just you and me, when kids are at school, has been send to the outer field every time. I love you, I like you, I consider you my friend and I will always be your friend. but I honestly don’t have the strength, or I do but I do not want to focus it on standing a lunch hearing what your kid can do and my kid can’t. As realistic as it might be in occasions I do not need you to tell me that. AT ALL. I already know his limits and mine.

So, please, stop. Stop pushing me to go and listen. I know, I’m a Mom, it was my only topic for years, what my kids did, what they had achieved, what they said. AS we are together 24/7 is the only thing I talked about. Now I don’t I have a life also and I read, and I’m an Engineer for Godsake I can speak about motors, robots, microscopic circuits, machines. I can chat about the books I read and love to read, I can chat about autism, about other ways to see the life I’m living, about how my kids , specially the youngest, had changed me and the way I see life. I can speak about several other multiple topics…. I understand you are stages behind me on this. I understand yours is your first kid and you can wait to share with me how awesome he is, and he is!, he is awesome, it is just I can’t stand the implicit comparison my brain will do, and yours is doing. Is a loose floor where we are walking on that topic, so. If you want to go to lunch with me.. we have to set a different topic. But it will be so difficult.

You know, we met because of our kids, my youngest and your first. That is, in fact, the only common thing we have. I’m and engineer, you are a lawyer, we come from different countries and backgrounds, we see the world pretty different. We walk such different pats, our household income is completely different, our economic issues are so far appart, our husbands are completely different characters, we have different interests. We eat complely different types of food. And that is exactly WHY we became such good friends! Because I love those difference, they open my world, they let me learn new things, new topics, new foods, new cultures. But sometimes they also get in the middle. As… if we want to have a conversation,it has to be about something we are both interested in, we are both a little knowledgeable on  to understand what the other one is saying, .. or it will be a lecture, a monologue… so I ask. Can we really go and have a lunch with out falling in talking about our kids and they achievements or lack of them? Can we chat for an hour with out falling in the path of criticizing someone we have known in common? ( other thing I hate to do), just because is the only thing in common we have?.

So Dear friend, how can we fix this?. How?. Right now I do my best. I smile. I say “Yaay” everytime your little amazing awesome guy that I love, achieves something. I smile at you, and try to do a little chit chat with the hubby, and then I don’t know what else to do but to tell you I love you and like you a lot. … and I know You feel the same way.

Oh Dear friend, this world is taking us a little apart, but I know in a future we will have a time to get together and talk about things we had done and have in common. Just not know.

 

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9/11

In the spirit of 9/11.

I clearly remember that day. I was far, really far, from NYC, now I’m like 20 minutes far from there. Back then I was living in Mexico.

I went for a jog. I was unemployed. I just got my degree as an Industrial and Systems Engineer a few months ago and took a few months as vacations. I was just starting the job search so I spent my mornings jogging and reading.

I just came back from jogging when my oldest brother, I was at my parents house and he normally visited them for breakfast,  called me and say, quick come!, a plane crashed a building in NYC. He just turned the TV and was watching the news.

I went in to the kitchen with him and then I saw a plane flying near the building. I said out loud: ” oh, look,  they are repeating the scene” with out even thinking NO ONE was recording the 1st crash as it was an accident not a movie or a sports match. Then the 2nd plane crashed.  My brother and I just saw each other and stare at the TV, then heard the news man saying ” OMG another plane crashed this is an attack, US is under Attack!” his voice was half lost half scared.

I felt horrible as I remember a friend that works there. I just wanted to call his mom to ask if she knew something but it was to early. And i didn’t have her phone number. He was the first person I tought about and then all those people, hundreds of them. I sit and stare at the TV.

My mother came in and saw both of us staring at the TV in silence. She was about to ask when they repeated the 2nd crash scene. She started asking “what mo….. are those the news?” we just nodded. Yes. That is happening, that just happened.

That day was my sister’s BD party. She didn’t canceled, but didn’t really celebrated as she an her friends normally does. They were all talking about what just happened in the morning.

2 days later I got a job. In Mexico but working for a US company. 2 months later I fly to the company to check their productions lines and learn how could they be used to manufacture different materials for a costumer in Mexico. That flight was weird. I go throw all the NEW security check ups. I felt strange. I felt how people around where more anxious that in past flights.

I was reading a book. From the 2nd World War. To my bad luck, and lack of attention, the image in the front of the book was a plane explosion. People that notice it looked at me horrible, then I notice so I cover it a little.

9/11 changed so many things. When I came to live to US it was 3 years after 9/11 happened. And still people was afraid of interact with me, because I look different, because I spoke different, because i had an accent because people was still afraid. Things had changed, people now does interact more, at least with me, but I’m not sure if it is because I blended in or because the anxiety has calm down.

I had met so many valuable people in all these years. Some of them lost family during 9/11 some during other ocasions that where less remarkable for the rest of the world. But still important for all of them. I remember 9/11 now not for the destruction and the pain, but for the honor of those that lost their lives, for the respect they deserve and their families. It is horrible to see how people makes money with 9/11 shirts and merchandise, when it is a date to respect and remember that horrible things happen. And we are so little n this world we have to make our lives count and live them through with all the love we have to give.

Hugs to all.

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Toddler Bed

I decides to move my son to a rodelas Bed. A few months ago, Like 5 or so, i did it and was a big Mess. He kept walking out of his bedroom every 2 minutes and sister kept screaming and shouting “mom he is out of the bed again” every time.

After 30 minutes and 64 times of bringing him back to his bed I resigned and moved him to the crib again.

This time a friend lend me a safety gate. I placed it outside of my kids bedroom. They can go through their door and the there is the gate. I felt a little bad like of I was putting them in jail. So I moved a rail from my son’s crib and leave it open, put both of the
To sleep, read a book, said good night and left the room with the twilight Tortola showing stars in the ceiling.
I close the gate.

They stayed playing like an hour or so. If things where normal in this house I would have walked to their room and send them to bed and stop the playing. But you know, as my son autism influence how much he plays with his sister and that doesn’t happen often I let that happen.

They played since 7:45 pm until 9! That my daughter, oldest sister and only sister he has, fall sleep. The. I heard him singing for around 20 minutes and then silence.

When I walked to see where he fell sleep I saw him in the floor. Between the door and the gate laying like as if he was drunk.

Felt bad 😦 but no idea how else to teach him he has to sleep in a toddler bed now.

Why the pressure?

We live in a small apartment. My kids share the room. My oldest is still in a toddler bed but she is Tall, not logger a toddler and growing fast. Since the beginning, before my son was born but was in my belly, the plan was bunk bed by the time he reached 18 months and she almost 4.

He is 27 months now. She is 4 yo already. She almost doesn’t fit In that bed and there is no way to fit a normal bed and a crib there. So bunk bed has to be and for that one he has to learn to sleep in a bed. And as I know it will take loong time for him to get the idea.. We started yesterday.

Bunk bed will come
Before my daughter reaches 5 .. So we have almost 1 year to get the idea…

Wish us luck!

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What should I fight for?

Lately I have been doubting a lot. That denial cycle has come and go and go and come.

Today was a great day for my son. He was a parrot. Yes. The non talking kid was trying so hard to communicate. He grab a “my first words” book and brought it to his dad. Open the “FOOD” page and started ” mmmmm ff ff ffff” – food- then he pointed ( a big big thing for him) with his whole hand the banana and said “banana” the word he has said for months already. Then pointed the strawberries : ” staaaaais”  he has been trying that one for 2 weeks. And then he pointed the apple ” APht”  He has never tried that one so he looked at his dad and smiled. 🙂 . Then he pointed the carrots and turn his face to me like asking , how those this damn things are called mom?, I didn’t say a word. He said: ” totsssss?” asking. I said , yes, carrots. And he smiled. Then he started with the numbers. He has been lately counting 1 to 10 but today he counted the drawings ” Oneeeeee babeeee” ( one baby) ” tooooooooo pats” ( two plates) and he we go until 10.

I was so happy. We were in a  birthday party. In the common area of the building while he was doing this.

One of my neighbors was in the past the nanny of a kid with autism. But that kid had a pretty hard time with autism. He is no verbal to start, his motor skills are just been hitted by autism, in a way of say it, not literally.. So of course my neighbor was “been nice” telling me :: ” oh no if he is autistic, if he has autism, he is a lucky one, he is just not” . AS I know she is been nice and trying to cheer me up, thing that I didn’t really need in that precise moment, I just smiled at her, and said ” all autism are different, that is why is called spectrum ” and smiled again. Didn’t want to spoil the moment with my son, nor a good friend Party.

But what should I fight?. I mean, is it ok to plant my foot and tell people, “hey you, he Is DIFFERENT” no matter how equal you see him. Really?. I mean.. is not the opposite what I’m trying to do for him?. Not to deny the autism, but to learn how to interact with the word and live on it and for that he will need to be accepted as equal and respected as “one more between the masses?” .  I know is kind of a contradiction, as I know awarness is something I should fight for. As many people recognize how to deal, respect, and handle a situation with an autistic child, as many people that understand that having autism doesn’t make a kid, adult, teen, etc, someone “different” or someone to keep far as better world My kid will live in.

But… If he learns how to get inside “our” world keeping his World at the same time. Isn’t that the best for him?.

So now, I started thinking a little more. How much should I fight for him to have an special education? Will that be the right thing for HIM?. Or Should I fight for him to be included in the neurotypical world of school since the beginning?. What should I fight for? What is the best for him?

I also have another friend who’s son has Down syndrome. An Amazing boy may I say. the first one My son made contact with, even before the GFCF diet. But something in her assumption of my kid not to be able to do a lot of stuff, as her kid can’t, hurts me. Am I wrong?.  I know she had a hard way to walk to make her son the amazing 12 yo he is.  But I know we are not walking the same road. It might look similar, but it is not.  I think I’m even walking a different pat of other people dealing with autism. The pats look similar but at the end we are all walking throw different barriers and walls. After all That is why Autism is an Spectrum.

So why? Why is so difficult?. She keeps telling me I should fight for this and that. and I should ask the school to do this and that at the IEP. Etc.

It hurts a little she thinks by fact my kid will qualify for the special needs program. Thing that I still have my doubts. Not as for the program as I had heard great things about it, but as for my kid development.

It doesn’t help either that our therapists are divided. we have 6. yes 6 therapist. 12 hours of therapies per week. one of the is here 6 hours per week, the other 6 hours are divided between the other 5 therapist. 3 of them think he is NT with some developmental issues. Even one suspects celiac as the main cause of his developmental problems, but not autism.  3 of them think autism. So I keep fighting.. with my denial cycle…

As my husband says and what helps me to sleep at night.

He is happy, he is trying, he is working. But he Is happy. And we love him, and his sister adores and loves him. And HE IS HAPPY.

But what should I fight for? What does he needs?. I’m his mother. I should known.. shouldn’t I?

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