Process

I have always wonder how can someone jump from been Scare to total denial. Now I know.

The ” funny” part is I notice it so that means I’m not in total denial. But well.

I have been scare, lost, missed and confused since the evaluation news. The possibilities scare me. My kid is Perfect. he is perfect as he is. I’m frightened because I’m not. I’m not perfect at all. I consider myself to bea little hard in my kids. They are happy gorgeous kids but I do push them a little to be stronger. So, if the evaluation is right should I be different with my little boy? Or stronger? or harder? or softer? or how?.

I guess that will be said when he starts therapies and other evaluations. I hope. But I hope I can deal with it and follow the lead of the experts.

I’m in denial, today I spend the whole day watching him, we went sledding and have tons of fun – ” ” between those ones as half of my mind is analyzing-  I saw a normal little guy with communication issues. But not “non communication” as he is not trying or not minding. I see a little guy that can’t speak. Nor for physical issues but psychological or even maybe hearing problems. .. But I’m not an expert and I’m in a denial stage.

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